After hours of discussion about the finer points of haiku, grammar and gamma radiation, the six judges and the sponsor of the National Grammar Day Tweeted Haiku Contest emerged from their secret grammar chamber to announce a winner.
It was not an easy task, and there were many opinions on which haiku should wear the figurative mantles of victory (no actual mantles will be awarded). Because there are so many excellent haiku that deserve mention, I’m compiling a complete list from the #grammarday hashtag, and I’ll post it here shortly.
Without further delay, the winning haiku:
Spell-checkers won’t catch You’re mistaken homophones Scattered hear and theirThe winning haiku was written by Gord Roberts (@GordinaryWords on Twitter), whose 18 tweets to date are all about National Grammar Day. He wins the top prize of a copy of “Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing,” by National Grammar Day host Mignon Fogarty, and his choice of a t-shirt or mug with my favorite piece of writing advice: www.cafepress.com/EditorMark.
If Gord should be unable to complete his National Grammar Day Tweeted Haiku Winner duties, that responsibility will fall to our first runner up: Andy Hollandbeck (@4ndyman on Twitter). His haiku:
If you’ve much to say A well-placed semicolon Can save your big butSecond runner-up is Dawn McIlvain Stahl (@PurplePenning) who offered:
With bowl, spoon, and milk, I like to add a little serial commaThird runner-up is Gerri Berendzen (@gerrrib):
A wise ruler knows dangling modifiers can confuse the subjectsOur fourth runner-up is Melissa Dobson (@madbeyond):
Words are discrete waves And language is a vast sea Grammar is a shipHonorable mentions go to Wendy Mackall, John McIntyre, Arika Okrent, Scott Huler, Jen Ross, David Sanchez, Neal Whitman and William Regan. I’ll post their haiku in a bit along with the scores of other honorable entries.
Thank you to all our hardworking judges:
- Jag Bhalla, author of “I’m Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears” and researcher into the less logical aspects of life and language.
- Erin Brenner, blogger, freelance editor at Right Touch Editing, and editor at Copyediting newsletter.
- Martha Brockenbrough, founder of National Grammar Day and the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar, and author of “Things That Make Us (Sic).”
- GRAMMARHULK, editor, tweeter and lover of ALL CAPS who smashes poor usage choices but promises a delicate approach to sorting haiku.
- Erin McKean, founder of Wordnik, the online compendium of all the words, and author of “The Secret Lives of Dresses.”
- Amy Reynaldo, freelance editor, crossword blogger, and author of “How to Conquer the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.”
Be sure to visit the National Grammar Day website at http://nationalgrammarday.com/. And check back to this blog for updates.
Mark Allen Editorial 
Gord’s winning haiku is brilliant. I appreciate the honorable mention, but the moment I saw Gord’s earlier this week, I thought, “Well, I’m not going to win this contest.” Props to the judges for their decision, and thanks for all the fun!
Great choice of winner. I love that it’s such a visual haiku.
It was fun to compose with all of you. Great way to celebrate National Grammar Day. A tip of my red pen to all of the competitors.
How kind, William. I loved your nervous apostrophe! The first runner up made me cackle. I also really enjoyed @ReadingLisa’s “snuck/sneaked” entry and @arikaokrent’s “irregardlessness” along with all the great entries from my friend Dawn, @PurplePenning! Congrats everyone!
I love the haiku of the 4th runner up, but I can see why the word play in the others caught the judges eyes.